Scooby-Doo? Where are you?

I was looking over my five year old's shoulder as he watched some WBKids! online. He stumbled across a new and improved "Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue!" He thought it was hilarious.

I wanted to cry.

I hate when new versions destroy the spirit of the old version. (OT: Most egregious example = Tom Cruise's one-man "Mission Impossible," a remake of a show that always emphasized the team. And don't get me started on what they did to Phelps.)

In the Scooby-Doo cartoon, there was an evil scientist--a regular villain on the show, I've learned--who manages to invent an actual invisibility ray... The Mystery Machine has become some sort of morphing thingy--flying, in this case... Scooby snacks are nanotech-enhanced whatevers... Shaggy and Scooby actually accept missions from some robot butler of Uncle Albert...

I can't go on.

This is just wrong. I mention only a few reasons:

• In the original, the gang traveled randomly across the country, stumbling into all kinds of adventures. There were no regular villains--there couldn't be, because the gang was never in the same place twice.
• Actual invisibility? The original Scooby-Doo was about the triumph of Reason. Monsters and goblins and ghosts--oh my!--always turned out to be some mundane human in costume, never anything supernatural or pseudo-scientific. (Wikipedia tells me that this convention was abandoned several iterations of Scooby ago. I shudder.)
• The Mystery Machine was a 70s love van. It got the gang from point A to point B, wherever that turned out to be. I don't remember it ever playing any other role than that. The gang triumphed on their own merits, not from the help of advanced Mystery Machine technology.
• The only power Scooby snacks offered was as a bribe; Scooby's desire to have a snack invariably saved the day. (So maybe the cartoon was not really the triumph of Reason so much as the triumph of Appetite.)
• In the original, Shaggy and Scooby were always cowards. They would never accept a mission. Period. Part of the humor and charm of the original came from them finding themselves in scary situations and rising to the occasion. Sort of.

I weep for the youth of America--nay, the world.